Uncertainty
by EmilyLovesAlison
Summary: A little Emison/Paily love triangley fanfic... :)
1. Chapter 1

**Alison's POV**

"Emily," I coo into the silence, "we have to talk about it sooner or later." I slowly approach her as her back is turned to me.

"I'd rather not. At least not now." She says while snatching away from me as I try to touch her shoulder.

"Em, please? It's killing me not to. We need to figure out what this is, what we are."

"Did you mean it, what you said about you actually having feelings for me?"

Em peeked at me over her right shoulder. I take a step back giving her space to turn around to face me. She turns to face me with her arms crossed.

"Y-yes. Of course. I meant every word."

"Why did you make me think that you didn't? You really hurt me, Alison." Em said almost enraged.

I broke eye contact with her and looked all around my before my eyes finally settled on the floor space between us.

"Because I… I couldn't admit it to myself, that I saw you as more than a friend. I didn't want you to know." I shamefully say with tears welling up in my eyes.

Her demeanor softens. She takes a small step towards me, but I back away from her. I don't like being this vulnerable, not even with Em.

"Why wouldn't you want me to know? Why did you kiss me one day and the next totally throw it back in my face?"

"I told you, I couldn't admit it to myself," I snap back, "Nevermind. I don't think I'm ready to talk about this."

I'm feeling trapped. I still don't like the power Emily has over me. She knows she has it now. I start walking towards my bedroom door.

"Well we are. What was so bad about you telling me?"

"I can't…."

The air around us is cold and still. Emily, standing in front of me, looks confused, hurt, angry, and compassionate at the same time. I'm trying to choke back my tears, but it's no use.

"Ali.." she says while grabbing my shoulders ever so gently and pulling me closer to her.

"I couldn't tell you because…. Because I didn't want you to know how much power you had over me."

I try to avoid eye contact with her. She takes her warm hand and gently whisks the falling tears from my check. Her touch is so soft. So gentle. It's intoxicating.

"Power..?"

"You are the only person that has ever made me feel special, Em. You made me feel like a million bucks on my crappiest days. You were always able to break away my bitch exterior. You've always seen me as a good person, even when I didn't. You make me feel safe and loved like no one has ever done before. You've always seen the best of me…"

"Ali, I.." I interrupt her mid sentence.

"I'm in love with you, Emily."

She froze. She stood there, not saying a word. Her expression was static. It stood in a confused manner.

"Em..?" No answer, "Emily?"

"I, uhh.. I have to go."

"Wait, why?"

"Uhhhh.. I have a lot of homework to do. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

She speeds out of the room like nobody's business. _What just happened? Did I scare her? Does she not want me to love her? Does she not believe me? _She left me in a disarray of emotions and questions. I walk over to my bed and sit. I don't understand. Two hot stream of tears began to roll uncontrollably down my cheeks. I curl up in fetal position and bury my face in my pillow.

_Maybe she doesn't love me anymore._


	2. Chapter 2

**Emily's POV**

_What just happened in there? Why did you run out on her, you idiot? You've waited you years for her to say those words and you run out?_

I run home as fast as I can all the while internally freaking out. I finally get to my front door. I dig around in my bag for my house key until I find it. As I'm reaching for the door, my phone starts to ring. It's Alison. I can't bring myself to answer it, so I let it go to voicemail. I open the door and start upstairs when I am stopped in my tracks.

"Emily, you have company." My mom says as she waves me towards the living room.

"Hi, Emily. How've you been?"

It's Paige.

"Hi, Paige. What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing. You weren't here when I got her, so your mom just let me in."

"Oh. Okay."

"You girls should head upstairs. I have to finish cleaning up down here." my mom interjects.

"Come on."

Paige stands up and gives a nod to my mother and we head upstairs. When we walk into my bedroom, I toss my books on my desk while Paige stands by the door.

"What are you doing? Why are you just standing there?" I question.

"I, uhh, I don't want to make you feel weird. Can I sit?"

"Yeah, of course you can."

"How's life been with Alison back?" she asks as she sits on the window set.

"Uhh.. It's been ok, I guess. It's still so weird to see her and hear her voice everyday, but it's also comforting. To know she's ok. How have you been? Are you ok?"

"For the most part. I'm still a little bit shaken from the dead rat thing." She says slightly embarrassed.

"Don't let Mona get to you," I say slowly inching towards her on the window seat," Paige, can I ask you a question?"

I sit next to her. She looks me in my eyes.

"Anything, Emily." she reaches out and touches my hand which is resting in the space in between us on the seat.

"Nevermind…"

She grabs my hand and holds it tight. Her thumb is gently caressing the top of my hand.

"Emily, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I say with a pathetic excuse for a smile on my face.

We sit in silence for a brief moment. It's nice to not have to talk for a while. Paige starts to inch closer to me. I know what's about to happen, but I'm not stopping her. _I want this. Do it. Do it now. _She takes her right index finger and gently lifted my chin. She leans in ever so slowly before our lips meet. Her lips are soft and cool as if she's been eating ice. The kiss is slow, but deep. I get interrupted by thoughts of Alison and what she'd just told me. I pull away with the quickness of a lightening strike.

"What's wrong?" Paige questions in a daze of confusion.

"You have to leave. Now."

"But Emily..."

"Get out now!"

She jumps up from the seat and bolts for my bedroom door. _Oh shit. What are you doing? You love Alison. But you love Paige, too._ I let out a big sigh and bury my face in my hands in defeat.

_What the fuck am I gonna do?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Emily's POV**

As I walk down the hallways of Rosewood High, I see fliers for prom hanging on almost every corner. _Great, now I have to worry about finding a date to prom on top of everything else._ I stop at my locker to put my books away.

"Hey, Em. Come on before all of the good pudding cups are gone."

I giggle, "One sec, Han. Let me make sure I've got everything."

I check to make sure I have everything, close my locker, and we start walking towards the lunchroom.

"So, have you given any thought to who you wanna go to prom with?"

"Uh, no. Do you have the history homework?" I really don't feel like talking about this.

"Yeah, I think." Hanna replies with a confused look on her face.

We continue our walk to the lunchroom in silence while Hanna riffles through her bag looking for her history notebook. We grab our lunch and head to our usual spot where we see Spencer and Aria laughing. We sit.

"What's so funny?" Hanna questions.

"Ernie Hester asked Aria to prom today." Spencer chokes out.

"Oh my god! What did you say?" I laugh hysterically.

"No, of course. But I felt kinda bad about it though."

"Aw, then should've said yes!" Hanna teased, "You guys would make such a cute couple."

Aria gives Hanna a friendly glare, while the rest of us laugh.

"Oh wow," Spencer clears her throat, "Has anybody seen Ali at all today?"

"No." Aria, Hanna and I say in unison.

"Well, who was the last per… Nevermind." Spencer stops.

Alison is walking towards the table with her trey. She sits down next to Hanna and across from Spencer.

"Where have you been?" Aria asks.

"The counselor's office. I've been trying to see if I can take extra classes. I really wan to catch up as soon as possible."

"Oh. Well can you?"

"She's working on it."

"So, is everyone excited about prom?" Hanna asks with a giant smile on her face.

_Damn it, Hanna. I don't want to talk about this._

"Yes. Toby and I can't decide what colors to wear."

"I think me and Caleb are gonna go with blue or something along those lines."

"What about you, Ali? Any idea who you want to go with?" Aria asks.

She uneasily shifts in her seat.

"Do you seriously expect someone to ask me to go to prom with them, Aria?" she snaps.

"I mean, you never know." Hanna says.

"Look, Ali, since I'm not going with anyone, how about you be my date?"

"Thanks, Aria, but I don't think I'm up for it."

"Ali, come on. It's senior prom. Pleeeeeease?" Aria says with a puppy dog pout on her face.

"Ok. I'll be your date." She says with the slightest smile on her face.

All the while this conversation is going on, I'm steadily getting more and more uncomfortable.

"Em, what about…"

"I have to go." I interrupt Spencer before she could even get the question out.

I get up and practically run to the trashcan. _I'm glad I got out of there when I did. Why is everyone so obsessed about having dates to the prom? _After I dispose of my trash, I turn around and run into somebody. It's Paige. _Why me?_

"Hey Em, I wanted to ask you something. I know things have been weird lately, especially last night, but I was wondering if you wanted to go to prom.. with me?"

**Spencer's POV**

"What the hell is her problem? Every time I bring up prom, she freaks out." Hanna says while enjoying her pudding cup.

"I guess she's just not in the mood. She did just break up with Paige and now.." Aria drifts away from her statement.

"And now what?" Alison pipes up with a little too much eagerness.

"Uh, nothing. Forget it." I break in.

"Well, I've got to get to Calculus early. See you guys later." says Aria.

"Yeah, I better get going, too." Hanna agreed.

It's just me and Ali at the table. She looks… I don't know.

"Alison? Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well you don't look ok. What's going on, Ali? Is it Emily?"

"Why would it be Emily?" she snaps.

"I don't know. I just noticed that she wouldn't look at you and you guys didn't say one word to each other. What did you do to her, Alison?"

"Nothing. I swear." she says almost in tears.

_What the hell is going on between them? Alison's never almost cried in public before. _Her actions are baffling. _Is this even Alison DiLaurentis?_

"I have to go now. I'll see you later."

I get up and walk away more confused than I've ever been. I look back at Alison. She's just sitting staring down. A tear falls from her face onto the table. She quickly gets up and walks away, disappearing into the crowd of rowdy teenagers in the hallway.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm so sorry I haven't updated before now! It's been busy and I also experienced a major case of writer's block, but I've recovered and it shouldn't take me so long to update the next chapter! Don't forget to tell me what you think :)**

* * *

**Aria's POV**

"So you're going with Paige?" I ask Emily as all 5 of us walk down the side walk to Spencer's house from the Brew.

With a little smile on her face, "Uh, yeah. I guess I am."

"Aww, that's so cute! You guys should run for prom queens." Hanna giggles.

We all giggle at the suggestion.

"We should all go dress shopping together. It'd be fun and we could go see a movie or something afterwards."

"That's a great idea, Em. When are we gonna do it?" Alison questions.

"How about tomorrow? Is that ok with everyone?"

"Yeah!" Spence, Hanna, Ali, and Em harmonize.

"So, Ali, have you thought about what colors you might want to wear?" I ask.

"Not really. I was just gonna base my dress off of what you were gonna wear."

"Oh… How about a nice purple or black, even?" I offer.

"I don't know. Maybe," Ali contemplates, "Crap, I have to run home right quick to grab the movies and the candy."

Ali runs ahead of us, past Spencer's house and up the stairs of her house.

"Come on guys, let's get this par-tay started!" Hanna shouts as we enter Spence's front gate.

* * *

"Where the hell is Alison with the movies and candy?" Spencer agitatedly questions us.

Emily wiggles in her seat on Spence's bed while Hanna leans against the wall next to her.

"I don't know, but she needs to hurry up. I'm feeling snake-ish." Hanna pipes.

Spencer walks over to her window and looks over into Alison's bedroom.

"Well, do you see her, Spence?" Em asks while trying to get her own view into Ali's room.

"No. What the hell is she doing over there?!"

"I'm going over there to see what the freaking hold up is." Em says as she rises quickly from her spot on the bed.

"Thank you!" Hanna shouts in appreciation to Em as she walks out of Spencer's room.

**Emily's POV**

"Ali? Where are you?"

I hear movement coming from upstairs. I walk up the stairs and head to Ali's room.

"What the hell is taking you so long? It's been 45 minutes."

I her sniffles coming from the far side of her bed as I enter the room.

"Ali, are you ok?"

I creep slowly to her side. She's lying on the floor in fetal position crying into a clothe bag. I sit beside her and rest my hand on her to try to console her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. Let's just go. Please?" she manages to get out between uneasy breaths.

"You're lying, again, Alison. We aren't going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong."

She sits up and wipes the tears from her face while trying to catch her breath. She won't look at me.

"Ali, look at me. Tell me. I'm here for you. You know that."

"I said nothing. Just drop it so we can go."

She lifts herself off the floor and push past me. I don't understand why she's acting like this. I'm only trying to help her. _That's what friends are supposed to do, right? _I stand up and go after her.

"Alison, wait," I demand as I grab her arm, "Why are you acting like this? What's wrong? Did I do something that upset…."

_Oh.. I'm going to prom with Paige. _When I realise that this is what's wrong, I let go of her arm and take a step back.

"Ali… If this is about me and Paige…"

"It's fine. I'm fine. Can we just go, please?"

She turns and starts walking down the stairs. The walk back to Spencer's is silent and seems to take an eternity.

"It's about time. Where the hell have you been?" Spencer questions.

"I couldn't find The Notebook. I wasn't coming over without it."

"Well thank goodness you found it. Can we proceed with tonight's festivities, then?"

As Aria puts the movie in, the rest off us get comfortable in our usual spots. Spencer and Hanna at the top of the bed with the bottom reserved for Aria and Ali and I in Spence's red chair.

"Is everyone all set? No last minute cravings or anything? I'm not getting up once it starts." Spencer warns.

"We're fine, Spencer. Start the movie." Aria says as she hops onto the foot of the bed.

* * *

About half way through the movie, Hanna, Spence, and Aria are passed out. I look over at Alison. She seems uncomfortable. I reach to hold her hand like I always do when we watch The Notebook. She pulls away and shifts her position away from me. I hate that she's acting like this. I tried talking to her about, but she didn't want to. _How do I fix this? _

"Ali, I…"

"I'm trying to watch."

"You can't keep doing this. We have to talk."

"Keep your voice down. You're gonna wake them up. Why do you even want to talk? You didn't last night."

"Alison, you can't…"

"Oh my god, would you shut up? I'm trying to sleep. Turn that stupid movie off." Hanna says groggily.

"Sorry Han." Alison says as she makes a brief moment of eye contact with me.

She rises from the chair and walks over to the tv and turns off the movie. She walks towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I question.

"I need blankets if I'm gonna sleep on the floor."

_But you always sleep in the chair with me. _Before I can even think about uttering word, she disappears into the hall. _Is she really this upset about me and Paige or is she just trying to made me feel bad? Whatever her reasoning, it's making me feel like absolute crap. _I slide down in the chair trying to get comfortable, but I'm unable to. I have too much space to myself. When Alison comes back with her blankets, I pretend to be asleep. _You can't sleep. Not while knowing that Alison is hurting._


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh my... I didn't realise I hadn't updated in so long... I'm trying to get better about that, I really am. Leave a review for me, please! They give me inspiration to write! Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Hanna's POV**

"God, I'm starving! What's for breakfast?"

"Pancakes and whatever else you guys want, as long as you make it yourselves.." Spencer answers.

"Where's Ali?" Aria questions.

"I think she's in the rest room. Can we go make breakfast now?"

When we get downstairs we Spencer starts to pull dishes from the cabinets. The kitchen is silent for a few moments.

"So… You guys I'm really excited to get my dress!" Aria says ecstatically.

"Me too. Paige and I are doing turquoise. It's gonna be so gorgeous."

"God, would she hurry up? Ali, stop hogging the bathroom. My bladder would really appreciate it!" I scream up the stairs.

Moments later Ali struts down from where she's been holding. As she reaches the bottom of the stairs, she looks at me in an odd manner. It's almost as if she's broken, but trying to cover it up. I ignore it because I know if I were to ask her about it, she'd probably rip my head of.

"Thank you." I say as I ascend upstairs.

Before going back downstairs, I take a detour to Spence's room to go ahead a get my outfit ready for dress shopping. As I walk over to my bag, I trip on Ali's and a little pink notebook falls open. Well, with me being Hanna, of course I have to investigate to see what it is…. _It's her diary._ It's like being inside the mind of Alison Lauren DiLaurentis. I am completely enwrapped in her yesterday's entry.

_I don't know if I can take anymore of this. I hate feeling like this. I don't like people having power over me, but I had to admit it or I'd never be happy. I've never loved anybody like this before and I know she loves me, too. Even though I told her I loved her, why is it still so hard for me to accept it? Say it, Alison, so that you can believe that this is what it is. I'm in love with Emily._

I can't believe what I just read.. _Holy shit! Alison is in love with Emily! _My thoughts are interrupted by Aria screeching my name. I put the diary back where it fell from before making my way back downstairs.

"It took you long enough. Your pancakes are getting cold." Spencer laughs.

"So, as I was saying," Aria says, "Ali, have you given any thought to what color you want to wear? I don't really care what you choose; I just don't won't my dress color to clash with yours."

"Well, umm, I want something simple like crème." She answers after taking a sip of her coffee.

"Cool. I have ideas.. Many, many ideas." Aria responds in a playfully sinister tone.

The rest of our morning fades away with clinks of forks hitting plates and girlish laughter.

* * *

"Oh God. Who the hell would wear something like that? Where the hell would someone find a zebra printed bird?"

"Oh come on, Han. It's unique and different. There's nothing wrong with it. I'd wear it."

"Of course you would, Aria." Ali says walking pass us towards Spencer who's on the other side of the dress rack.

"Guys, what about this one?" Emily questions as she and Paige approach us from behind with a lavish turquoise dress in hand.

"I think it's beautiful," Paige states with a silly love-sick grin on her face, "Almost as beautiful as you are, Em."

Alison quietly scoffs.

"Awww," Aria gushes, "That's so cute! What are you wearing, Paige?"

"Well, I'm gonna wear a black pant suit with a turquoise cumber bun and bow tie."

"Ali, what do you think?" Aria asks because she's yet to hear Ali say anything.

I look over at Alison in search of any type of response. She's staring at the ground. I see Spence give her a little nudge in the rib cage signaling her to say something to Emily and Paige about their selected prom attire.

"Uh, yeah, it's great. You guys'll look totally cute," she says while trying to fake a supportive smile, "I have to use the restroom. I'll be right back."

"Uhh, I have to go, too. Ali, wait up!"

I run after Ali trying to catch up with her, but she's much faster than I thought. When I reach the restroom, she's locked herself in a stall. I hear small sniffles.

"Ali, are you ok?"

"Go away. I'm fine."

"Ali….. Is this about Emily?"

"There's nothing wrong with me… But if there was, what makes you think it's about Emily?"

"Because.. this morning when I was in Spencer's room, your diary fell out of your bag and kinda read your last entry."

There's a brief moment.

"You had no right, Hanna." Ali says with her sobs becoming more audible.

"I know…. Ali, are you really in love with her?"

"I don't want to talk about. Just forget anything you read and leave me alone, please?"

"Ok.. I'll go…"

As I step out of the door, Alison loses it. I've NEVER heard those types of cries come from Alison. She sounds broken.

* * *

**Emily's POV**

As I walk into my room with my dress preparing to hang it up in my closet, I get a text. It's Hanna.

_Hanna: Have you talked to Ali lately?_

_Emily: Not much. Why?_

_Hanna: Nothing major.. I just think you should talk to her… Like soon._

_Emily: If it isn't major, why do I need to talk to her soon?_

_Hanna: Look, Em.. this morning her diary feel out of her bag and I read it. And today, when we were at Prom and Circumstance, she lost her shit in the bathroom. You really need to talk to her._

_Emily: Ok.. I'll talk to her.. What did her diary say?_

_Hanna: I'm not at liberty to say, just please talk to her._

_Emily: Fine.. I will tomorrow.. See you later Hanna-gator!_

_Hanna: After while Emily-dile… Wow, we're lame __:)__ Haha night_

After I hang my dress, I change into my pajamas and position myself into my bed. I can't help but think about what to say to Ali when I talk to her. I don't want to hurt her anymore. I don't want to hurt Paige either.

_Make a decision, Fields. You can't keep doing this._


	6. Chapter 6

**Yay! A timely update! I'm proud of myself :) This chapter was extremely painful to write.. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

I texted Alison this morning. I told her we needed to talk. She's gonna meet me at the Brew after school. I've made my mind up. I know what I want now, so I have to talk to Paige before this afternoon. As I open my locker, something falls out. It's a note.

_Safe Haven during lunch. Bring your smile :) xoxo_

"Oooh, what's that?" Hanna asks as she and Aria approach my locker before first period.

"Nothing.. A note."

"Oh.. So have you talked to Alison yet?"

"Uh, no. I'm meeting her at the Brew after school."

"Good…."

The remainder of our walk is silent. Once we finally reach the choir room, we take our seats next to Spencer, Alison, and Aria. I share a brief glance with Ali before the choir teacher begins warmups.

* * *

The note from earlier. It's from Paige. As I make my way to the dimly lit pool area, I look across the room and see Paige standing next to a checkered blanket and a basket.

"Hi, Em." she says with her big brown eyes reflecting the light bouncing from the water.

"Hello Paige. What's this?"

"Well, my love, it's a picnic just for us. Now, have a seat, please." She says as she bows in the direction of the blanket.

"What's the occasion?" I wonder.

"Oh nothing. I just wanted to do something special for mah lady," she leans in a kisses me.

I feel guilty. I have to come clean because I don't want to ruin this, what we have. I have to tell her about Alison and how I'm not going anywhere. _I want Paige._ When we finally pull back from the kiss, her expression changes, almost as if she's worried.

"Are you ok, Em? Did I do something wrong?" she asks with a slight panic in her voice.

I realize her change in demeanor was a reflection of my expressions.

"No, of course not. This is great. You're great and I want to be here. With you…. There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now, than right here with you."

"Em…. What's wrong?"

I hesitate for a moment. I have to tell her if we're gonna make this relationship healthy again. I take in a deep breathe. Here goes.

"Uh.. Paige. The other night when you were on my porch… The night I was acting weird.. I-I… I was with Alison before I got home."

"And…"

"And.. We kissed.. and she told me that she was in love with me…" I hold my head down waiting on her to say something.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing.. I didn't say anything, Paige. I apologised and I left as quickly as I possibly could have."

"Why are you telling me this, Em?" she says with an ounce of hurt in her voice.

"I'm telling you this because I don't want any secrets between us. I want us, what we have to be as healthy as possible and that can't happen if we don't communicate."

"I love you, Emily Fields." she says with a drop of a tear and a laugh.

"I love you, too, Paige."

"Well, let's partake in this delicious feast. Chocolate covered strawberry?" she grins seductively as she raises the morsel to my lips.

* * *

The bell rang for school to dismiss. As students spill out of the classrooms, I start looking for Alison. I'm trying to avoid her until we meet at the Brew. I don't see her so I bolt to my locker and pack my bag and head out to the parking lot.

"Hey, Em, wait up," Paige yells from behind, "Where you rushing off to?"

"Oh, ummm… I'm going to the Brew. I have some business to handle."

"Interesting… Can I tag along?"

"Uhhh, Paige.. I don't think that's a good idea."

"Oh.. Ok… I'll see you later, then?" she says with disappointment on her breath.

"Yeah. Bye, I love you"

"Love you, too, babe." Paige replies as she places a kiss on my cheek.

I watch as Paige disappears into a crowd of cars. I get into my car and head to the Brew. When I was inside, Alison is in plain view. I approach the table.

"Hi, Ali." I say hesitantly.

"Emily… Why'd you ask me to meet you here?"

"Hanna told me… about the diary… She didn't tell me what it said; she just said that I should talk to you. And we needed to talk about what happened the other night and us anyways so…"

Alison sits there in stark silence frozen. Eventually she gulps nervously and begins to say something, but she doesn't.

"Look, Ali.. We aren't gonna get anywhere if you don't let me in. I can't with this anymore."

"You can't with what anymore, Emily." She breaks out.

"You only let me in when you want to. If I can't be there for you completely, I don't think I can be there for you at all. I want to, but not like this."

I feel tears begin to form in my eyes, but I blink them away as soon as I feel them. I look at Alison whose saddened expression kills me inside.

"Emily…" is the only thing Ali can muster.

"I'm with Paige," I'm interrupted by the person sitting behind Alison's dropping their purse, " I'm in love with her and want to be with her. There's no more us or impromptu make out sessions in your bed. I'm done. I'm not gonna let you have control of me anymore."

A single tear falls from her bright blue eyes before something happens. Her once shiny baby blues became dark and dull almost instantly.

"Fine. Whatever, I hope you have fun with Miss Piggy." Alison laughs as she wipes the tear from her face.

"What is your problem? Why are you acting like this?" I say shockingly through my tears.

"Goodbye, Emily," she says with a smirk as she waves the barista down to pay her bill, "Have a nice life."

_What the hell was that? One minute she's speechless and near tears and the next she's… back to Old Alison._ I grab a napkin to wipe my soaked face before walking out and getting into my car.

_If I'm in love with Paige, why was that so hard?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello guys! Hehe sorry for the wait. I'd like to give a special thanks to Regina18 for helping me out with this chapter and the idea for the next chapter :) Leave a review, please! They totally help with the creative flow.  
**

* * *

**Spencer's POV**

Today is the day. We're all in my bedroom getting ready for tonight. There's an obvious uneasy tension between Ali, Hanna, and Em and it's bothering me. I glance at Aria who's just as uncomfortable as I am.

"What's going on with you guys? You couldn't cut tension in here with a freakin' chainsaw."

"What are you talking about, Spence? There's nothing wrong." Hanna deflects.

"If that's so, why haven't either of you said anything to each other? This is supposed to be fun. You guys are sucking all of the fun out of prepping for prom with my four best friends."

"It's nothing, Spence, just concentration. I don't want to mess up Hanna curls. She has to look perfect tonight. We all do." Alison says with a slight smile.

"If you say so…"Aria interjects.

"So, Ali, are you still gonna do Em's hair, too." Hanna asks.

Alison shoots an odd almost sad and disgusted look at Emily before shaking her head no.

"Well why not?" Aria asks.

"Uhhh… Spencer is the best at those cute updos." Emily says almost shouting.

I notice Hanna and Emily share a wordless conversation with their eyes. _What the hell is going on?_

"Uhh. Do you guys want more refreshments?"

"Sure." Hanna answers.

"Em, you mind giving me a hand, please?"

"Sure, Spence."

She hops up and we descend down the stairs to the kitchen. I wait until we are safe in the kitchen before start questioning her.

"What the hell is going on between you, Hanna, and Ali? Did Alison do something to one of you guys?"

"No, Spence." Emily says avoiding any eye contact I try to make with her.

"Emily, you're lying."

"I'm not. She didn't _do_ anything. It's her demeanor, the way she's been acting towards me since…"

"Since what. Em? How's she been acting towards you?"

"I don't know.. Since I told her that.. that I want to be with Paige."

Emily sits down on one of the bar stools pulled up to the island and twiddles her fingers.

"What's wrong with you wanting to be with Paige? It's her fault that you don't want to be with her."

Emily looks up at me like a lost puppy.

"Wait…. Do you want to be with her?"

Emily sits silently still playing with her fingers.

"Oh my God, Em. Why? You know she's just going to hurt you, again."

"I know, Spence. I know. That's why I'm with Paige, because I don't want to get hurt again. But nothing I do, nothing I say has changed the way I feel about her."

The kitchen is silence for a moment. I reach over and rest my hand on Emily's for comfort.

"Does she have feelings for you, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well… I don't know, to be honest. She's said she does, but she's Alison, Queen of manipulating people."

"Look, Em, I'm no relationship counselor, but I think you should stay away from her. Like you said she'd queen of manipulation and she's hurt you before. Now let's get back upstairs before they get restless."

Em nods at me before grabbing the snacks and heading back upstairs.

* * *

**Alison's POV**

_Here you are. Senior prom and you aren't with Emily_. I look over from where I'm standing with Aria and I see Emily with her.

"Ali, you wanna bust a move or what?" Aria shouts over the blaring music.

"Hell yeah! Just let me run to ladies room."

As I look in the mirror, mesmerized by the spectacular façade that I've put on, someone exits a stall. It's Paige. I keep my head down trying to avoid a confrontation, but I know it's inevitable.

"Look, Paige…" she interrupts me.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Just get this, we aren't friends and never will be. And stay away from Emily. I heard what you guys talked about at the Brew. I know you. Emily knows you, Alison. You're a liar and a manipulator. You don't love her."

"You don't know what I feel, so shut up and mind your own business, Paige."

"Emily is my business. You just can't stand the fact that you don't have her wrapped around your finger anymore. She loves me, so get used to it, bitch."

She pushes me out of her way as she exits the restroom. I can feel my blood boiling. I hate her. After attempting to cool myself, I exit the restroom only to run into Spencer.

"Sorry Spence." I say as I try to go around her.

"We need to talk." she says as she nudges me back into the restroom.

"About what exactly?"

"Emily."

"Why does everybody want to talk about Emily?"

"Because she's in love with you and she seems to think you have feelings for her." Spencer pauses awaiting my reply, which she doesn't get, "You're playing with her again, aren't you? You don't have feelings for her. You ju…"

"Stop! Everyone needs to stop telling me what I feel," I cry out in pure frustration, "I heard what you said to her in the kitchen earlier. You guys were taking too long so I came to help you. Yeah, I heard what you think of me and what you think I'm doing. You have no idea what I feel. I do have feelings for her. I'm in love with her. Why can't people just leave me alone! It's none of yours or anyone else's business, for fuck's sake."

As I'm screaming I can't help but break down in tears. I've hit my limit. As I continue to cry, Spencer puts her hand on my shoulder, but I pull away

"Don't touch. Just leave me alone."

"Ali, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean…."

"Just leave, please."

I can't take it anymore. I'm done. Spencer steps back, but doesn't leave.

"Fine, since you won't leave, I will."

I push past Spencer and run as fast as this dress and these heels will allow me.

"Ali, wait! Don't go!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the longwait, guys. It's the last chapter! Hope you enjoy :)**

**Emily's POV**

"Em, you're so beautiful." Paige gushes as she playfully kisses my cheek.

"Haha, stop it, Paige," I giggle.

"Why should I? I want everyone to be jealous.. I've got the best girl in the universe."

It's just after Paige finishes that we're interrupted by Hanna.

"Have you seen Alison?"

"Uhh.. No." Paige says.

"Why?" I ask confused as all get out.

"Spencer confronted her in the restrooms and she just took off…" Hanna trails off.

"Confronted her? About what exactly?" I question, but Hanna looks everywhere but at me. "Paige, babe, can you go get us some punch please?"

"Yeah.. of course." she answers as she releases her grip on my waist.

"What did Spencer say to her?"

"She told her to stay away from… To stop playing games with your feelings," Hanna takes a beat, "But apparently Alison lost it told Spencer that she's in love with you and ran out."

"What? How long ago was this?"

"About ten minutes. We've been looking for her, but we can find her anywhere.."

"Why would she do that? I asked her not to!"

"Em, she was just looking out for you."

"What am I, a helpless little kitten?"

"Em…" Paige tries to intervene.

I freeze.

"How long have you been back… with the punch?"

"Long enough to hear…."

"Paige.. I-I'm so sorry, but I…" I'm lost for words.

"You're in love with her."

I can't bear to look at her. I feel like an awful person.

"It's fine. I knew sooner or later this was gonna happen. I was hoping it be later… like way later.. like after I'm dead later, but I guess it's sooner. Just know that I'll always love you, Emily." Paige sulks as she runs her thumb across my cheek.

"Thank you, Paige… I am sorry, you no that, right?"

"You shouldn't be sorry for how you feel. I'll be ok."

Paige leans in and places on last chaste kiss on my lips.

"See ya around." she says as she takes a step back and disappears into the crowd of raving teens.

"Em. We have to find her. Like now."

"I have an idea of where she'd be."

* * *

"Hey.. Ali…" I call out to the silhouette sitting upon the kissing rock.

She doesn't look at me. I can hear her crying. I slowly approach her.

"Ali..."

"Go away….. Please?" she says brokenly.

I continue to approach her, each step slow and steady, until I'm standing next to her.

"I said go away," she spits, "I just want to be left alone. Why can't anybody understand that?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Alison. We need to talk."

"I don't want to talk. I'm tired of talking. What's the point of talking when people aren't listening anyways?"

"I'm listening, Ali." I plea as I take a seat beside her.

"Ha… No you're not. You're just like Spencer and Hanna a-and Paige.."

"Paige… What does Paige have to do with anything?" I blurt while she's in mid sentence.

"She, uh.. She was at the Brew that day. She confronted me in the restroom at the dance."

"What did she say?"

"That isn't important." She says as she finally lifts her head from staring at the ground, but she hasn't yet looked at me.

"Ali… I'm sorry.. about everything. About Spencer, about Hanna, Paige. I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you, but I'm listening now. You can talk to me now. I promise."

"Where do I start," she sighs shakily, "I-I wasn't lying, Em, when I told you that I had feelings for you. I know I didn't show it before I left, but I thought you'd believe me."

I reach toward her and place my right hand over her left one as it its resting on the rock.

"I do, Ali. I promise you I do. I was just scared. I thought that you were….."

"You thought that I was just messing with, huh? I don't blame you. I'd think that if I were you, too." She looks back down.

"Look at me, Ali," I demand, but she doesn't. "Ali, please."

She looks in the opposite direction of me.

"God Damn it, Alison, I said look at me!" I say through my teeth.

I grab her shoulder and pull her upper body to face towards me. She flinches, but finally looks at me. Her eyes are red and puffy and her cheeks stained with a continuous stream of tears. I can't bear to watch her cry, so I use my thumbs to wipe away the offending rivets of water. I can't help myself. I guide her lips to mine. She doesn't kiss back at first, but soon enough her lips are moving perfectly in synch with mine. When she breaks the kiss, I can't help but inspect her face for any sign of regret. There is none, but she does look scared and cold.

"You're nose and cheeks are red. We should get you into some heat before your nose falls off."

She gently nods her head before I stand and offer her my hand.

"Thanks." she mutters, still hiccuping from crying.

* * *

"Again, Ali, I really am sorry. I will stop assuming the worst of you without having a rational conversation with you." Spencer says as she and the other girls head towards the door.

"Yeah, I am, too." Hanna agrees.

"It's fine, really. I understand why you guys thought what you did." Alison offers hoarsely.

"Bye guys."

Once I've seen the girls to there respective vehicles, I come inside to be greet with Ali still in the same position that she was in when I had stepped outside. She is tucked into herself with her arms wrapped around her person, staring at the floor.

"Ali, are you ok? You barely said anything when the girls were here."

She only nods.

"Come with me." I say as I reach for her hand.

"Where are we going?"

"Upstairs."

As soon as we enter my room I head to my dresser and grab two sleep shirts and bottoms.

"Here. Change into this. You're gonna stay here tonight. I've already talked to your Dad. He said it's ok if you stay."

Alison caught the night wear and slipped out of the room to the bathroom.

"Lie down," I pat the bed beside me, "We should at least try to talk."

When she lies down I can tell that she's tense. In an effort to calm her, gently draw little patterns on her arm. We lay n silence for a moment just looking into each other's eyes before she finally breaks the silence.

"Everyday that I was away from you killed me a little inside… And coming back and actually admitted to you, and to myself, that I do have feelings for you was the single most scariest thing that I've ever done. When you choose Paige over me, I thought that I was actually going to die. I thought that you'd hated me so much for all the crap I put you through before I left…"

A single tear falls from her cerulean blues, glassy with even more tears.

"Ali, I could never hate you."

"I did and sometimes I still do. I am a monster. I deserved everything I got. I am a horrible, horrible person.. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't love me anymore.." she gasps for air as more tears fall.

"No. No, don't you ever say that. You don't hate yourself. You are neither a monster nor a horrible person. You're hurting. You lash out because you don't know how to deal with your feelings and I was stupid not to realise that before. Ali, I'm sorry for choosing Paige over you. I didn't mean to hurt you. You have to believe that. I do love you and I never stopped. I just…"

I crash my lips onto hers in a passion filled frenzy. She reaches up to my face and deepens the kiss with a sweet, needy moan that sends electricity shooting through my body. This moment can't get any better.

"I love you, Alison DiLaurentis, and I promise that I will never in a million years stop."

"I love you, too, Emily. I really do. And I'm so sorry for what I did to you…"

"I know. I forgave you years ago. Now, will you forgive me?"

"I already have." She says with a soft smile. "I'm exhausted, Em."

"Me too."

I get up and cut off the lights while Ali adjusts herself under the blanket. When I finally settle into bed, Ali snuggles into my neck. It only feels natural to wrap my arms around my Ali.

_She loves me. I'm happy. She's my happiness. I wouldn't want to be with anybody else. With no uncertainty in my mind, I love you, Alison DiLaurentis._


End file.
